Friday, January 28, 2011

I logged on this morning and caught up on reading the blogs I follow.  One of which happens to be a weight loss journal of an old friend.  She had a quote that she found and had posted on her blog earlier this week and I loved it too much not to pass it forward as well.  It was exactly what I needed to hear and HOW I needed to hear it today!!!

“Stop being a moron and start getting skinny! If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, you are ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight.”

Love it!! lol

This week has been a weird one for me.  I have felt, in simple terms: FOUL.  Last night I didn't even want to be around myself.  I was mad because on Thursday nights I ALWAYS go to Chick-fil-a while Morgan is in dance and I get her a sandwich to eat right after class (and of course enjoy my usual while she is dancing!).  I thought Michael had picked up my purse on the way out the door while I had grabbed my backpack.  Well, evidentally he had put it back down because I had no purse (aka no way to pay @ chick-fil-a!).  To say I was pissed didn't even begin to cover it.  I was hungry, I was tired, and I was SUPER irritated.  Morgan was actually pretty upset too when she got back in the car.  So when we got home, and I was relieved that my purse was there (it had in it all the cash to pay rent AND my car payment, another reason for my panic!), I then got online and ordered Domino's pizza.  And not just pizza.  I also ordered the lava cakes that are offered for dessert with a 2liter of Coke.  It was wonderful.  Every last bite.  I will say, the lava cakes made me SO much happier.  Sad, I know.  Food was my solace, my comfort.  THIS is what I have to get away from.  This feeling of being so behind the gun, being so REactive instead of being PROactive.  How am I going to do this?  I have no freaking clue.  Not today.  I am still recovering, I guess.  I didn't realize until last night just how stressed I have been, how SAD I have been.  AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!  I mean yes, school can be a bit stressful, but is that a reason to be a mess all the time?  NOPE.  All I wanted to do was cry last night and that just pissed me off even more.  See the vicious cycle I have adopted?  This is not me and I don't like it at all! 

I think my week off made me a bit lazy.  That didn't help at all.  Yes, I got a lot of housework accomplished, yes, I got my schedule planned for February- I hit all the goals I had for myself at the week's start.  But along the way, I lost my pace from before.  Now I just have to focus on getting it back.  Hopefully I can make some of that up today.  I have a full day planned- teaching my Zumba class from 11-11:50, then on to the house I clean every other week.  That will put me home about an hour before the rest of the family gets here, so I can have a moment to sit quietly.  Then we have a relatively quiet weekend planned, only teaching a class tomorrow morning, & church on Sunday, so hopefully I can get a lot of studying done, and get back on track with my workouts and my point counting!  I am going to try again today.  I looked at the other pop-tart from Morgan's breakfast and thought to myself "nope, I don't want this- I don't want to spend 4 points on a tiny little pop-tart!" lol  I guess that could be considered progress...

Have a wonderful weekend!

1 comment: